i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone
The hipster bar near my house has a brunch special called the Ron Swanson. It is “A lot of the bacon and eggs that we have” and I can tell when someone orders it because my room starts to smell like bacon.
I crave intimacy but I get confused and uncomfortable when I’m shown even the slightest bit of attention or affection.
Then I fly into a window in my confusion and hurt myself.
This day just started and I am already so done with it
Yo tell me about it. My credit card # got stolen yesterday and I’ve already fucked up an assay.
himynameisjesyblue said: (shit, i think she’s on to me)
Oh sweetie. Every gal who has ever interacted with a man has caught onto this trick.
Protip for Nice Guys: If you have to be ambiguous about whether you’re asking a girl to hang out as friends or out on a date to trick her into dating you, she probably doesn’t want to date you in the first place.